“still qualified”

oil on canvas
48" x 60"
March, 2006

I was commissioned to paint a piece that conveyed the emotions Peter must have felt as he betrayed Jesus three times before the crucifixion. My first thoughts were that this painting would be dark and almost scary-looking. But then as I was mulling it over for several weeks, it occurred to me that the idea of darkness would merely be a part of my painting. That’s because the story of Peter doesn’t end with his failure—but rather the final instructions Jesus gives Peter to keep on serving, and the fact that he then goes on to become the pivotal person in founding the Christian Church.

When Jesus called his very first followers in Mark 1:16-18, Peter is actually the first name mentioned. “As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon (Peter) and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’ At once they left their nets and followed him.” Peter and his brother didn’t give a second thought to walking out of life as they knew it to follow Jesus into the unknown.

Peter then spends the next few years as a member of Jesus’s closet inner-circle. There must have been an open relationship between them, as Peter doesn’t seem to hold back in telling Jesus what he really thinks. During the last supper Jesus tells Peter “before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” To which Peter replies in Mark 14:31, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” The thought that he would turn his back on the one he had followed and loved for the last three years must have been seemed reprehensible to Peter.

Despite his good intentions, when the time came, Peter took the cowards’ way out and did exactly what he had promised both himself and his Lord that he would never do. As predicted, Peter denied having been with Jesus and the fact that he was one of his closest friends and followers three times. A rooster crowed then crowed again for the second time — and Peter, realizing what he had just done, broke down and wept bitterly.

I don’t know why Peter caved into the pressure. Especially in light of the fact that he had been warned this would happen. Why does Jesus even tell Peter that he will deny Him? Maybe it’s because Jesus wanted US to know how Peter failed Him in such a huge way. How this confident, committed friend experienced a moment of weakness under pressure, and gave into his human nature which was screaming “protect yourself! protect yourself!” Why is that important to us? Because even though Jesus knew Peter would fail, Peter’s failure didn’t discredit him from serving God.

After returning from three days in the grave, Jesus singles Peter out and has a talk with him (at the end of John 21.) In light of Peter’s recent denial, you would almost expect Jesus to say “forget it, you turned your back on me, I’m done with you…” But instead Jesus gives Peter a little pep talk. And rather than submitting to the defeat of his failure, Peter goes on to become “the rock” upon which Jesus built His Church.

Fortunately for us, God does not keep an account of our mistakes and inadequacies, so why not follow Peter’s example and let God use you IN SPITE of your failures.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” — Psalm 103:8-12